18++ joke.......

John woke up after the annual office new year party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.
'Louise,' he moaned, 'tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?'
'Even worse,' she said, her voice oozing scorn. 'You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.'
'He's an idiot,' John said. 'Piss on him.'
'You did', came the reply. 'And he fired you.'
'Well, screw him!' said John.
'I did. You're back to work on Monday.'
Grandma's Advice
Adult
My grandmother died in 1975, but her birthday is coming up, and that
always causes me to reminisce. The long walks we used to take to the
store on Brunswick Street , the quarters she gave me for meaningless
jobs like pulling weeds or washing the sidewalk... Those gems were all
good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of
grandmotherly advice, occurred when I was only about 10.
We were sitting in a park having just finished collecting some 40 soda
bottles for the deposit money on a beautiful spring day. She told me
that one day, I would find a wonderful woman and start my own family.
"And remember always this thing," she said. "Be sure you marry a woman
with small hands."
"How come, Grandma?" I asked her. She answered in her soft voice..
"Makes your dick look bigger."
Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it!?

HAHAHAH...VEry FUNY HORR!!no more jokes edi ar?